All tagged productivity

Coffee Habits, Stuffed Octopi, and Dedication: A Teenager’s Guide to Not Making Fun of Chair Yoga

Coffee Habits, Stuffed Octopi, and Dedication: A Teenager’s Guide to Not Making Fun of Chair Yoga

Masha Fomitchova
musings, theory, writing

Many of us, at some point, have set out to acquire a six-pack, an effortless handstand, fluency in French, an intimate knowledge of up-and-coming alternative rock bands, or some other quality that looks great in a dating-app profile.

Whatever you deem your practice - be it yoga, a musical instrument, nagging your husband about not cleaning the lint screen in the dryer, or always being that annoyingly chirpy co worker who’s always first in the office and greets everyone with “Hey Sunshine!” - that practice must become a fundamental pillar of your existence - like eating, drinking, and sleeping.

More Inventive Than Ben Franklin..Because I'm an Idiot

More Inventive Than Ben Franklin..Because I'm an Idiot

Masha Fomitchova
goals, theory, writing, projects

Hey! You!

Are you tired of feeling guilty? Tired of sitting at your desk, surrounded by a concerning amount of empty coffee mugs, fiddling with your pen, contemplating whether penguins have knees, and eyeing that Facebook tab? Dreading that Thing You REALLY Have to Do?

Well boy do I have news for you. It doesn’t have to be so hard! With the power of endless task-invention, you can lose the guilt FAST, and keep it off FOREVER.

With the power of endless invention, you, my friend, are FREE.

FREE to go check your email!

FREE to update your LinkedIn!

FREE to go clean your room! Who cares that it’s already more sterile than a horse mated with a donkey? Not me! You’re the one that’s acting like an ass.

You’re FREE to colour-code your Google calendar!

To check your email! Again!

FREE to go draw a Pinterest-Worthy habit tracker with a PENGUIN on it!

But wait, there’s MORE.

The power of endless invention comes with a Hundred-Percent Money Back Guarantee!

In the future, your credit card will get handed RIGHT BACK TO YOU! After it gets denied. Again.

Autocorrect and a Tired, Trying...Pigeon. Meet Masha.

Autocorrect and a Tired, Trying...Pigeon. Meet Masha.

Masha Fomitchova
theory, musings, writing

So, let me extend my wing out to you - I’m still a permanently exhausted pigeon after all. We may as well be honest - this haphazardly creative wannabe-hyperproductive insomniac won’t be altering her habits anytime soon. If I have to be Tired all the time, fine. So be it. But I’d rather be TIRED because I TRIED. Not because I wasted my time exhausting myself by scrolling 6.19 miles through the “inspiring” and “mindblowing” information that I secretly despise. Apparently, mistakes are a sign that you’re trying. But I think my phone’s equating of “tired” with “trying” might be a mistake in itself. After all (if I’m lucky) I may someday be able to conceal the ever-present bags under my eyes and showcase the results of my work. Something tells me that showing off my thumb’s pedometer (while sipping at the 3-shot espresso I swear I need) won’t have the same effect.

Some Goals that Better Last as Long as My Expensive Lipstick.

Some Goals that Better Last as Long as My Expensive Lipstick.

Masha Fomitchova
goals, writing, theory, projects

Even someone as blonde as I am knows none of these mean anything without more concrete goals and accountability, and I've got some wonderful reality-checks in store for future Masha, so that ought to be fun. I'm honestly just very, very happy to be alive this year, and to have the ability to worry a little less about that being a given. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you. If anything, you can always resolve to stop hanging around people who make New Year's resolutions.